April 9, 2022
Dwelling on your past is important because all the answers lie there. Your present is the continuation of the past. If you do not dwell on it to seek answers, one day a therapist will be doing it.
I lived life with intensity, an action-packed life. I never looked back. I almost never took vacations and seldom wasted time. Every time I failed, I moved on and looked ahead. This may look like a positive outlook in life, but this is the reason why I kept failing repeatedly. Every time I ignored my failure and looked ahead, I gave up the opportunity to really understand what caused my failure. Eventually failing became a pattern.
These three years have been very eye-opening. I was forced to think about everything that happened from early childhood to high school to college applications to job applications. I made no money. I had no jobs. I read fewer books than before. I just thought and wrote. I found out everything. I found out exactly why I failed so hard and so often. If I had succeeded at any point before, I might have failed to understand what I now understand. With this new understanding, I feel unstoppable. I am coming. I am about to take over.