Updated: Mar 6
When I was a child, physics was exciting. Late teenage tuned me to psychology and economics. Early 20s turned me to philosophy. I gradually spiraling into theology.
At 25, I feel like I have lost my previous passions. Nothing excites me anymore but the unknown, that which reason and logic can't touch, which words can't say and colors can't draw, that which is the secret of all secrets yet somehow known to all, the all-pervasive omnipresent secret. I want to say I meditate on the unknown, but I will be wrong if I say that. How can you meditate on that which you don't know? I spend all my days doing nothing, thinking nothing, knowing nothing. But things get done. People think I am busy, superbusy, in fact. Is it really a secret? I don't know.
Update on March 6, 2020-
It is true that I wanted to read everything. I wanted to know all that there is, until it occurred to me that I would get nowhere even if I read all books ever written. All human wisdom is nothing compared to the unknown, whose knowledge I thought can be called divine wisdom. This is no what I really mean to say but is pretty close.
But I already understood that divine wisdom is not to be sought. It is to become. You must unbecome.