Why Online Dating Won’t Work For Women

Men can tell instantly if they find someone attractive. Their opinion would stay categorically consistent. Women, however, are different. Attraction builds for them. It is personal for them. At face value, women are likely to find most men unattractive. Once they get to know an average Joe, they might just find him “kinda cute”. Thus, it is crucial for them to get to know men before they swipe left or right.

Women like stories and characters. They are more inclined to watch drama and read novels. They like context, background information. They are more likely to date guys they know from their high-school, college, place of worship, or workplace. They incline to date men they have a lot of data (context) on and reject stranger men. This is why single women tend to keep an eye on male friends of their girlfriends and of their sisters. Familiarity or pre-knowledge builds attraction in women. They want to feel contextually related to allow men to speak to them. If they don't feel this relatedness, they would not be able to experience attraction at a personal level. Similarly, there are a lot more things that change how they feel about a man, but they must get to know him to find out. Once this initial stage passes, both parties just have to be relatively good/moral to end up in a life-long relationship.

Women say things like “let’s work on a/our relationship”. They think attraction can be worked on. Men don’t say things like that. They either like a girl or not, no in-between. Any man who says in-between is likely lying.

Online dating does not allow women to get to know men before they reject them. They end up meeting elite guys they already have information on. But elite guys are often shallow. Since they already swiped left on the guys they really wanted, they fail to discover their own attraction. I wonder if modern women are even aware of how attraction works in women. If they have always picked men how men pick women, they would not even know the difference. They would not know that attraction in women is not objective and semantically categorical. It develops and falls. It is more abstract, expansive, multivariate, and inconsistent. Have they become men?