Updated: Mar 6
Nov 6, 2020
Imagine your first day in high school or college. You need a friend. The need creates in your life space for a friend. When do make your first friend, they mean a lot to you because they can choose not to be your friend.
Now, imagine a teen monk. He goes to a new school. He is 100% detached from the world. He expects nothing from anyone and does his work only. When people talk, he talks back. When they don’t, he sits still like cold water in a cup. Is this person capable of experiencing the same emotions as you were in school? Is he capable of giving others the kind of affection that his peers can? He may love everyone, but chances are no one understands his “monk love”. The obvious problem is that he has grown more than she should have. There is a right time for everything. Teenage is not the right age to seek enlightenment. It is for one to be a teenager. It is for one to play with illusions of life, make friends, and find love.
The age of singledom, as I have previously written about, is a result of people's not marrying at the right age. Young people are needy because the world is full of anxiety-inducing uncertainty. Being needy creates space in their life for a significant other. Once they grow out of this state of mind and get a job, life becomes easy, they become like the monk. Marriage and relationships simply don't matter as much at a deeper level. A 16-year-old can find much more depth and support in a relationship than a 26-year-old.
It also makes me think of girls who say they want men who are “put together”, who have settled it all. That is 100% the kind of men they shouldn’t want. A man who is no longer needy doesn’t really need a partner. If a woman marries him, she is will always be disposable (not in a bad way). It is similar to adopting an adult. You can be a parent only to a child not to an adult. An adult really doesn’t need parents anymore. Similarly, a spiritually developed man or woman doesn’t really need a partner. They have pretty much learned to live alone. Men seem to get here earlier than women. Once they do, they are partly incapable of marriage.
The beauty of human relationships is premised on needs, vulnerabilities, and more importantly, on not being enlightened. Been needy or vulnerable is not bad until it's time to move on. Children enjoy cartoons only because they don’t know that the characters are 100% fictious, which is why they try to become Super Saiyan. Some enjoy video games and watching TV when all of those are illusions of light (LEDs). Not being enlightened is the fun of life. Not knowing what happens next is the fun of reading a book or watching a play. Life would be no fun if everyone was enlightened. Perhaps, they would take up characters and act like they don’t know what is going on. Perhaps, that is life, already.