Updated: Mar 6
You can’t love someone because love has neither subject nor object, just like you can’t sleep someone/something. Love is a state of existence. A partner merely helps you get there, just like a lullaby makes a baby sleep.
When people talk about loving a partner, what they are talking about is attachment, not love. Some can enter the state of love without the aid of a partner, especially children. Most adults need a partner to help them out.
I was thinking about how Churchians in the American south struggled to love everyone. They wanted to be good Churchians. They admonished themselves for not being loving. As you can guess, no one of them was loving. They were tired of loving. Perhaps, I should have broken love down for them, but I didn't want to sound soft. I thought all this stuff was common knowledge to people but turns out it isn't.
In my journal, I found another spin of the same concept. Check this out.
Modern people have rejected love. And they are right. They were brainwashed via movies and social media. Of course, "movie love" doesn't exist. Now, women marry for money and men marry for sex because they see nothing deeper in romance and relationships.
Love and friendship have no form. Dogs, cats, men, and women express love differently. If you knew friendship, you would never choose conflict over friendship. You would never choose sex over love if you knew love even for one day.
Love has neither subject nor object. The lover and the beloved are both fallacies. People fail so long they try to love. There is no doer in love. There is nothing to be done in love. What then is the need for a partner? A partner helps you reach the state of love. It is no different from a mother singing a lullaby. It allows the baby to fall asleep, but sleep is not a voluntary action or verb that the baby does. It is a state he falls into. The mother is not the object of sleep. Sleep is not directed to her.
In romance, your partner is just your assistance and you are his/hers. Whoever said "fall in love" understood love. If you say that you fell in mud, it is preposterous to ask, "with whom?" When people say that they love someone, it really means nothing. Love is a path to truth. It helps you see that individuality is a lie. Detachment here is merely a feature of love. You can't be in love with one person and not love others. If you do, you are not in love. You are simply attached to the person you claim to love. Think about puppies. They are claimed to love everyone. That's how love is. A partner merely helps you experience it.